Preparing For The Upcoming Duck Season

Preparing For The Upcoming Duck Season

All duck hunters know there are basic chores that have to be preformed prior to the arrival of duck season. These tasks include blind brushing, decoy readiness, retriever training, boat inspections, and wader repairs. These are jobs that almost every water-fowler performs routinely before the beginning of each duck season.

All of these are important tasks, however there is one job that should not be overlooked. What I am talking about is the type of preparedness that separates the average duck hunter from the seasoned veteran. If performed properly, it can make the difference between a good hunt and an excellent hunting experience. If properly done, it can lead to you being considered an expert in the art of water-fowling by your fellow hunters. Done poorly, and you will be remembered as just a run-of-the-mill duck hunter.

What I am talking about is the right and proper method of stocking up on drinks and snacks in the duck blind. With over 40+ years of duck hunting experience, believe me, I know what I am talking about here.

In order to understand the right approach to “blind stocking” we must begin with the premise that duck hunters are probably not the healthiest bunch of human beings. Have you ever made a visit to your local outdoor store in November? I would be willing to bet the shelves were loaded with “Mens Small” and “Mens Medium” clothing items. You would be hard pressed to find any “XL” or “XXL” items left on the shelf. And after 40 years of hunting experience I have never heard one hunter say, “I need to take my hunting clothes to a tailor and have them taken in.”

This is not to say that we don’t get our share of exercise, we are always chasing unruly hunting dogs, lugging bags of decoys through the mud and brush, who hasn’t had to paddle a boat with a stick or a pair of “flip-flops”, wade through knee deep mud, and carry a “ton” of shells stuffed into our coat pockets all in the same hunt. In fact I would be willing to bet that a group of 10 Duck Hunters would most likely open a can of “Whoop-Ass” on 10 Aerobic Instructors, just as long as we didn’t have to jog 6 miles to get to the fight.

If you stock your blind properly, you will find yourself bombarded with request from fellow hunters begging to hunt with you.

The vast majority of “duck blind food” is considered “snack” food and can be easily obtained from the racks at any gas station or local convenience store. Things like beef-jerky, Doritos, Cheetos, Fritos, (any thing with “os” in the name) all make excellent duck blind foods. Beanie-Weanies, Vienna Sausage, and canned Sardines are also welcomed table fair in the blind. Hostess Fruit Pies, Twinkies, Pop-Tarts, and Honey Buns can really top off a excellent morning hunt. And no blind can be considered properly stocked without an abundance of Pringles as they travel well and stay protected in those “tennis-ball-like” cans.

Roasted peanuts and beef-jerky are must haves …. The discarded peanut shells add a non-skid surface to the blind and the beef-jerky can serve as a practical tool for stirring coffee.

Which brings me to the drink selection. Deciding on what drinks to stock the blind with is very simple, just remember the following rule ….. “Canned sodas for hot and coffee for cold”. The soda flavor matters very little.

Never be caught with any fruits and/or vegetables, none of those granola bars, yogurt, or anything with Monounsaturated fats. Any of these items will guarantee you being in the blind alone.

And never, never, under any circumstance have a banana in the blind, or boat or on the dock. Think about the life threatening aspects of what can happen due to the careless placement of a banana peel!

This may all sound very complicated to those that are just beginning to stock their blind with unhealthy snack foods for this year’s season. Just remember the following:

• The food must be quick to fix (open a can, or peel back some type of wrapper should be all that is required)
• Duck blind food has to be the type that can be shared with a dog.
• It should be the type of food that you would welcome finding on the next hunting trip or next hunting season
• It must be laden with chemicals, nothing that is allowed to grow mold is allowed in the duck blind.
• Don’t forget about never bringing a banana to the blind which isn’t to say that banana flavored items aren't  welcomed ( Banana flavored Moon Pies are always a hit)

And never forget the 5-second rule, which is … any food that falls to the floor in a duck blind and isn’t immediately eaten within 5 seconds by the dog, means you might have made a poor choice in hunting dogs and it may be time to get a dog that is a little more eager.

Helping Ryan At Home

Got a call from Ryan today. He is thinking about buying one of the new Stoger 3500. After talking about the gun for a minute or two he said something that caught me off guard.

“I guess I need to call Brandie (his wife) and see if it is OK for me to buy it.” ……….

I got to thinking about that statement and decided it was time to jump in and lend Ryan a helping hand. So, for you Ryan, the following is a top 10 list that you can show Brandie and perhaps persuade her to let you have a new gun.

Top 10 Reasons To Allow Ryan To Get A New Gun
10. Honey, this would give me one at home and one to travel with.
9. I need to add balance to my gun safe so that it doesn’t warp.
8. I can’t possibly accessorize with the old gun.
7. Should one of them break-down I need a backup gun.
6. Big Boat …. Deserves a Big Gun.
5. I can’t hit shit with my old gun.
4. A new gun is more tactical and modern.
3. Gun envy
2. The older I get the less I want to pump it.

And the Number One reason I need a new gun …..
1. That extra ½” is what I have needed for a long time!

So Ryan, here you are. I am sure that as soon as Brandie reads these well thought out reasons why you need a new gun that she will send you forth with her blessings. If not …. Well, see reason #5 and prepare for another season of the same.

Getting What You Need

Duck Season is once again upon us. I, like so many others, am excited over what possibilities lay ahead.

Over the years, duck hunting has changed for me. I once measured my success in the blind by the numbers "killed". Success is now measured more by the experience of the hunt.

Sitting in a duck blind watching my lab make a retrieve, a flight of early morning jacks swinging over the decoys, conversation with my hunting partners, or from a deerstand, observing the return of a male bobcat after an all night quest for a meal. These are the things that make my hunt successful; these are the things that make my day.

Everyone seeks to receive something out of his or her hunting experience. But the most important thing to remember is that if you do the right things, your day in the duck blind will give you what you need.

It may not give you everything you wanted and were hoping for, but at the very least ..... it will improve your day.

The Annual Mallard Inn "Shoot-Out"

I read an article written by Terry Epping titled "True Men Duck Hunt!". It got me to thinking and I will have to agree with Terry, There is no other group of outdoorsmen that have the passion, desire, drive, and love of the sport than a true duck hunter. For True Duck Hunters (not those that hunt ducks) the next duck season arrives the day after the end of the present season. For us, duck hunting is not a sport, hobby, or passion, it is a way of life. Our little group begins preparations for the next season just as soon as the present season closes. There is not a weekend (and very few week days) that go by that we are not at our duck camp performing some kind of task to be ready for the next opening day. Repairing old blinds, building new blinds, building a floating dock, working on the camp house, making decoy weights, repainting decoys, adding decoy strings, repairing walkways, repairing the boat house, working on outboard motors, repairing duck boats, working retrievers, all of these jobs are just a way of getting ready for the upcoming season. For us, duck hunting is a year round passion and a year long activity. There are no days off. Duck hunting is in our blood, it is our life, it is the very breath we breathe. It is a part of our soul, it is the very reason for our being. We do take a little time each year to come together as a group.  "The Mallard Inn Shoot Out" is an annual event that we hold each October. There are a lot of clay targets shot and a lot of clay targets missed, and a lot of Bar-B-Que consumed and a lot of waterfowl stories told. Our group plus guests spends the entire day sighting-in rifles, busting clay pigeons, and yes ..... eating that outdoor grilled bar-b-que. One could argue that this also is in preparation of the upcoming duck season. Last year there were over 2,200 rounds of shotgun shells fired off and probably twice as many lies told and I expect there will be that many or more this year. Why?, you may ask, do we do this? Because not one of us can throw a spear. Click Here to see a video of last years "shoot out" winners

Another Duck Season Has Come To An End

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. - Kahlil Gibran

As I think back on the times I spent in the duck blind this year, I can’t help but think of how fast time slips away. For me, the anticipation of the arrival of duck season is like a little kid waiting for Christmas morning to get here. Then once it gets here, I blink and it is gone.

Much like the death of a good friend, once the end of the season arrives there is a period of grieving and a period of mourning that passing. The grief comes in waves of liquid ebony. Endure the depths, and each wave will pass, allowing you to once again hold your head above the black expanse to see light again, for there will be another season.

This time can prove to be harmful. Many duck hunters report various physical symptoms that accompany the end of the waterfowl season. Stomach pain, loss of appetite, intestinal upsets, sleep disturbances and loss of energy are all common symptoms that are brought on by the closing of the duck hunting season.

Of all life’s stresses, “no duck hunting”, can seriously test a duck hunter’s natural defense systems. Existing illnesses may worsen or new conditions develop. Profound emotional reactions may occur. These reactions include anxiety attacks, chronic fatigue, depression and even thoughts of suicide. An obsession with the sport is also a common reaction following the end of the season.

If you adhere to the wisdom and advice of veteran waterfowlers, there are ways to cope and survive until the coming of a new season.

Tips On Surviving The End Of Duck Season:

• On those special occasions when your son is stepping through your front door accompanied by his friends, have him yell out ….. “Coming in!! Coming In!! In Front! In Front!”
• Spend some time gathering up your remaining boxes of shotgun shells and repack each box so that the rows of shells are all nice and neat.
• While catching up on all of those nagging little chores that you have put off until the season is over, every so often, have your wife yell out ….. “Take ‘em!! Take ‘em!!”
• Set aside some quiet time each week to hold, caress, and clean your shotgun.
• During the next production meeting at work, pretend the person sitting next to you is your hunting partner and whisper in his/her ear …. “You can’t hit shit!”
• Take the kids and/or grandkids and have them run around the back yard as you sharpen up your shooting skills with a paintball gun.
• Always tune in the TV to the Hunting Channel.
• Every now and then have someone tell you …. “Your duck call sounds like shit!”
• Set aside some time to re-tune your duck call.
• When the whole family is at the dinner table, periodically yell out …. “Get Down!! Get Down! They’re cupped over the decoys!”
• For the hunter that is having an unusually difficult time in coping with the end of duck hunting season. Plan a vacation with the family to Las Vegas and while there, take $10,000 and enroll at the newest outdoor facility “Hunting For Bambi” where you can shoot naked women with paintball guns. (Website: http://www.huntingforbambi.com/)
• And the Number One Tip to surviving the end of duck hunting season ……… continually mutter just loud enough to be heard ……… “Kill ‘em, - Kill ‘em all!!”

The death of a hunting dog is only made tolerable by the memory of his life

When it was finished, I stood in the parking lot holding my sobbing wife, staring at the veterinary clinic.

Though Chase, my hunting dog, had shown remarkable valor and bravery in his pain, at length I needed to shut the suffering down. The tumor had spread through his nasal passage, down the jaw line up into his eye and brain.

Once so tireless in the blind, once able to make such remarkable retrieves, he could finally, barely hobble from the house to the yard. His hearing was gone, his eyesight was clouded, the tumor continued to grow, yet he fought the pain, he endured the bleeding, his was a valiant life and a valiant death.

Life has a course to follow. I once chose a puppy. That puppy grew and matured into a wonderful hunting dog. He became my constant hunting companion. We enjoyed many years together. He then grew old, feeble, and died. Life ran its full course. Yet, there will be no more sunrises to share, no more boat rides to the blind, no more remarkable retrieves to brag about.

Sitting there so trusting, Chase took the injection, sighed and went limp in my arms. I hadn’t been able to contain myself then and the tears began to flow. I didn’t want him to go, I didn’t want it to end. After what he had given me for 17 years this was the best that I could do for him? He deserved more, he deserved better.

The realization is, my hunting partner of 14 years is gone.

It's Better Than A Day At the Office

It is the day before Thanksgiving and I thought I would update this blog since we had a very good day for a change. We ended today with 34 (give or take a duck) killed out of the camp.

This brings our total for the season up around 185. I will probably have to make a slight adjustment either up or down when I get the "official count" from the camp-house score board.

We are not near the "pace" that we were on at this time last year. In fact we are about 80 ducks behind. But, hey! It still ain't that bad. I've had worse.

The lake is still dropping and the salvinia (while not gone) isn't a big factor right now. What we really need is a straight northern front.

I hunted with Bob and his son, Coy, this morning. I really had a great time! The only thing you have to watch out for is Coy has this unpleasant trait of stealing your shotgun shells if he thinks you aren't watching. It does save him considerable money throughout the year. I think he learned this from his father.

Anyway, they were kind enough to have pity on me and allowed me to hunt with them and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.