Friday, January 13, 2012
I turn 60 today (or was it yesterday ... hell, I can't remember)
Today I enter my 7th decade of life and I don’t even remember getting here. In the blink of an eye, I have been shoved from middle-age right into senior citizenship. I have become invisible and irrelevant to those that are selling beer, cool cars, skin and hair products, outdoor equipment, and a vast array of campaigns aimed at a younger crowd. I am now the target audience of Depends, Geritol, denture creams, Scooter Chairs, and all the medical life-line gadgets.
Once I was hip, cool, rad, hot, (OK maybe not so hot) but overnight I have now become an old coot, a codger, a curmudgeon, a cranky old man. I can no longer walk along a beach and stare at the girls in bikinis without being tagged as a old pervert.
Turning 60 was like being in a downhill slide on frozen pavement; You see everything coming but you can’t avoid crashing into it.
In 60 years, lots of things have happened in my life, happy things, very sad things, very important things. When I reflect on my life, what comes to mind is that I have been extremely lucky and blessed with what I have experienced.
What I have seen: The first space launch, Landing on the Moon, Inventing the color TV, Computers, Cell Phones, the list could go on and on.
Where did the time go? I don't feel any older. I still recognize the person in the mirror. It's just that the person I remember didn't have all that gray hair.
Anyway, today is the day, ….. and I really don’t feel any different than I did yesterday. The same old aches are still there, I still can’t read without my glasses, I still take the same amount of pills, and I better not hear one person say ….. You're at the prime of your life or These prelude the golden years, so have fun, or You should be all set now or You are as young as you feel. If I do, they are going to see how a 60 –year old man can whip their ass!
So what, … I’m 60 …. To hell with everybody, I’ll wear the rubber pants, ride the scooter chair, get dentures, comb my hair over, wear that life-line gadget around my neck, and be tagged an old pervert! The alternative seems to be worse.
I have to go now, …. Need to clean the drool off of my keyboard.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
A Despicable Deed Was Carried Out On Lake Bistineau This Past Monday
Using the protection of a mid-day rain storm, a cowardly and despicable deed was carried out on Lake Bistineau this past Monday.
Some low-life individual(s) decided to steal all of my decoys. The decoys they stole weren’t just any decoy. The majority were the Model #72 Herters which are not being manufactured anymore and have almost overnight become a collector’s item.
Present day value of these decoys are between $9 and $12 each. The total value of what they took comes in just shy of $3,000. This being a felony theft, I called the Sheriff’s Department.
During their investigation I was told that it would be illegal for me to offer a reward for the death and/or dismemberment of the perpetrators so therefore I cannot offer a reward for the death and/or dismemberment of these thieves.
Putting aside the monetary loss, what these thieves actually took from me goes way beyond a price tag. This duck season has been virtually cut short. There is no way for me to get 150 decoys rigged, ready, transported, and put out to hunt. All this years past preparations, of building new docks, building new blinds, re-working and refurbishing old blinds, getting the camp ready, etc. Right now it all seems to have been for nothing.
What they actually stole from me is my desire to duck hunt. Right now I am “pissed” so I know that this feeling will pass and my passion for duck hunting will return.
But after storing up 40+ years of wonderful memories, this one will always be in the forefront and be one that I will never forget. And for the few years I still have left to hunt, there will always be the nagging fear that it could happen again.
If there is one consolation, it is the fact that even without being able to offer a reward for the death and/or dismemberment of the thieves, is that I will eventually find out who they are. These decoys are unique; they are hardly used by any other hunter in North Louisiana. They are all marked, easily recognized, and can be picked out even in the midst of other decoys. Plus you can’t take a boat load of 150 plus decoys out of the lake in mid-season without someone somewhere seeing you.
So if you are a duck hunter on Lake Bistineau, let me apologize now for disturbing your morning or afternoon hunt, but if you see an old fellow in a War Eagle boat perusing your decoy spread, it will be me looking for what was taken from me. Without being able to offer a reward for the death and dismemberment of the actual thieves, checking every decoy spread and temporary setup this season and for seasons to come is all that is left for me to do.
Some low-life individual(s) decided to steal all of my decoys. The decoys they stole weren’t just any decoy. The majority were the Model #72 Herters which are not being manufactured anymore and have almost overnight become a collector’s item.
Present day value of these decoys are between $9 and $12 each. The total value of what they took comes in just shy of $3,000. This being a felony theft, I called the Sheriff’s Department.
During their investigation I was told that it would be illegal for me to offer a reward for the death and/or dismemberment of the perpetrators so therefore I cannot offer a reward for the death and/or dismemberment of these thieves.
Putting aside the monetary loss, what these thieves actually took from me goes way beyond a price tag. This duck season has been virtually cut short. There is no way for me to get 150 decoys rigged, ready, transported, and put out to hunt. All this years past preparations, of building new docks, building new blinds, re-working and refurbishing old blinds, getting the camp ready, etc. Right now it all seems to have been for nothing.
What they actually stole from me is my desire to duck hunt. Right now I am “pissed” so I know that this feeling will pass and my passion for duck hunting will return.
But after storing up 40+ years of wonderful memories, this one will always be in the forefront and be one that I will never forget. And for the few years I still have left to hunt, there will always be the nagging fear that it could happen again.
If there is one consolation, it is the fact that even without being able to offer a reward for the death and/or dismemberment of the thieves, is that I will eventually find out who they are. These decoys are unique; they are hardly used by any other hunter in North Louisiana. They are all marked, easily recognized, and can be picked out even in the midst of other decoys. Plus you can’t take a boat load of 150 plus decoys out of the lake in mid-season without someone somewhere seeing you.
So if you are a duck hunter on Lake Bistineau, let me apologize now for disturbing your morning or afternoon hunt, but if you see an old fellow in a War Eagle boat perusing your decoy spread, it will be me looking for what was taken from me. Without being able to offer a reward for the death and dismemberment of the actual thieves, checking every decoy spread and temporary setup this season and for seasons to come is all that is left for me to do.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Show Me Yours!
Show me yours ……
OK, if you show me yours ….
Yours is longer than mine.
Yes, but yours has a larger diameter.
Even with the extra length, it is really quite firm.
Yours is nice and firm also.
How do you keep that long one in place?
It has a magnet attached to the underside to hold it.
A magnet? …. Yikes!
I just use the old fashion way and screw mine into place.
Yours seems to glow in the dark.
Yours also seems to glow in the dark.
Thus went the conversation as we sat in the duck blind comparing each other’s newest light-gathering optic shotgun sight by TruGlow. TruGlow makes the world’s most advanced product line of fiber optic sights in the world. They have over 10 different models for shotguns alone.
Bob uses the longer Magnum Glo-Dot and I hunt with the shorter Fat-Bead. But we both agree that the green is far superior to the red or orange for low light wing shooting. It just seems to gather more light.
You can purchase your own TruGlow sight from most outdoor retailers or order them direct from TruGlow. Just make sure that you order the right one to match your shotgun. They are not a fit-one-fit all, but are made differently to fit different makes and models of shotguns.
You can see and order your TruGlow sight from their website ….. http://www.truglo.com/. Who knows it may even improve your shooting and at the very least, it makes for some interesting conversation.
OK, if you show me yours ….
Yours is longer than mine.
Yes, but yours has a larger diameter.
Even with the extra length, it is really quite firm.
Yours is nice and firm also.
How do you keep that long one in place?
It has a magnet attached to the underside to hold it.
A magnet? …. Yikes!
I just use the old fashion way and screw mine into place.
Yours seems to glow in the dark.
Yours also seems to glow in the dark.
Thus went the conversation as we sat in the duck blind comparing each other’s newest light-gathering optic shotgun sight by TruGlow. TruGlow makes the world’s most advanced product line of fiber optic sights in the world. They have over 10 different models for shotguns alone.
Bob uses the longer Magnum Glo-Dot and I hunt with the shorter Fat-Bead. But we both agree that the green is far superior to the red or orange for low light wing shooting. It just seems to gather more light.
You can purchase your own TruGlow sight from most outdoor retailers or order them direct from TruGlow. Just make sure that you order the right one to match your shotgun. They are not a fit-one-fit all, but are made differently to fit different makes and models of shotguns.
You can see and order your TruGlow sight from their website ….. http://www.truglo.com/. Who knows it may even improve your shooting and at the very least, it makes for some interesting conversation.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Are You Ready?
Opening day of duck season …. IT’S HERE!!!
This is the day that you work out the kinks so that you are a well oiled hunting machine by the time the red legged mallards arrive.
1. Check Your Decoys
About 25% of my decoys come from other resources; they have names on them like …. Brotherton, Lee, Jenkins, Stewart, Saucier, Gaspard, etc. I spend several hours each year scratching off these unknown labels and re-writing my name to the bottom of each decoy. I then make sure that these newly altered decoys are placed into the middle areas of my spread.
2. Inspect Your Boat
No other type of hunting contains more variables, more unplanned events, and more things that could go wrong, than water fowling. Most duck boats spend the majority of their time sitting on the trailer in the garage or in the yard. Be sure to make an inspection of both the boat and the motor. Riveted aluminum boats have a tendency to develop leaks during the summer months and outboards seem to attract dirt-dobbers, wasp, ants, and more. Nothing is more frustrating on opening day than a motor that won’t run or a boat that leaks. I never really worry about the trailer lights as I am on the road long before most drivers are up.
3. Check Your Waders
I have found a way to combine checking my decoys, boat inspection, and wader inspection into a single step operation. I drag out the garden hose, fill up the boat with water, then throw a few decoys in and while the boat fills with water I climb in while wearing my waders. By the way, this is a great way to check your trailer tires and bearings. The weight of the water always seems to reveal any trailer tire weakness and wheel bearing short comings. Oh yeah, and any leaks in the waders.
4. Fine Tune Your Spinning Wing Decoys
Replace and/or recharge the batteries. Straighten and synchronize the wings of your spinning wing decoys. There is no greater distraction than having one wing with the white side up while the other wing rotates with the white side down.
5. Prepare Your Retriever
There is more to preparing your retriever for a full day’s hunt than just throwing bumpers for him to retrieve. You have to prepare him for what will actually take place in the blind. I begin several weeks in advance by standing at my kitchen counter with an open can of beanie-weenies, or a pop-tart. As if by accident I drop bits onto the kitchen floor and record my retriever’s response time that it takes to locate and scarf up the dropped food. Your dog’s reaction time should be fast enough to keep food from being underfoot should a brace of ducks swing over the decoys.
6. Inspect and Clean Your Gun
Do I really need to expand on this topic? If you are like most duck hunters, you will be spending Friday night wiping down your gun (several times) and packing, then re-packing your blind bag.
7. Pack Your Snacks and Drinks
Please refer to my previous blog on the proper etiquette required
8. Go Over All Hunting Regulations
Not really, I just added this step in case there are law enforcement persons who can read this blog.
9. Waterfowl I.D.
We have a designated I.D. guy; he is usually the first one out of the blind and back at camp. All harvested waterfowl are identified by this person and should someone have accidentally harvested a “wrong” bird, it is then given to someone whose bag limit can accommodate the addition. Oops, I forget ….. there may be law enforcement persons who can read this blog. Let me refer you to this website where you can obtain a waterfowl I.D. Chart http://www.ducks.org/hunting/waterfowl-id you can even download their mobile app for identifying ducks.
10. Arrive Early
On opening day you must arrive at the duck camp early. Why not, it’s not like you are sound asleep at home. You have probably awakened several times through the night and checked your clock. You have most likely been up 30 minutes before the alarm is set to go off. So, you might as well drive on down to the duck camp and visit with your hunting buddies that have spent the same sleepless night. ..... Now stop surfing the web, get dressed and go on down to the duck camp.
P.S. - Remember to take your gun
This is the day that you work out the kinks so that you are a well oiled hunting machine by the time the red legged mallards arrive.
1. Check Your Decoys
About 25% of my decoys come from other resources; they have names on them like …. Brotherton, Lee, Jenkins, Stewart, Saucier, Gaspard, etc. I spend several hours each year scratching off these unknown labels and re-writing my name to the bottom of each decoy. I then make sure that these newly altered decoys are placed into the middle areas of my spread.
2. Inspect Your Boat
No other type of hunting contains more variables, more unplanned events, and more things that could go wrong, than water fowling. Most duck boats spend the majority of their time sitting on the trailer in the garage or in the yard. Be sure to make an inspection of both the boat and the motor. Riveted aluminum boats have a tendency to develop leaks during the summer months and outboards seem to attract dirt-dobbers, wasp, ants, and more. Nothing is more frustrating on opening day than a motor that won’t run or a boat that leaks. I never really worry about the trailer lights as I am on the road long before most drivers are up.
3. Check Your Waders
I have found a way to combine checking my decoys, boat inspection, and wader inspection into a single step operation. I drag out the garden hose, fill up the boat with water, then throw a few decoys in and while the boat fills with water I climb in while wearing my waders. By the way, this is a great way to check your trailer tires and bearings. The weight of the water always seems to reveal any trailer tire weakness and wheel bearing short comings. Oh yeah, and any leaks in the waders.
4. Fine Tune Your Spinning Wing Decoys
Replace and/or recharge the batteries. Straighten and synchronize the wings of your spinning wing decoys. There is no greater distraction than having one wing with the white side up while the other wing rotates with the white side down.
5. Prepare Your Retriever
There is more to preparing your retriever for a full day’s hunt than just throwing bumpers for him to retrieve. You have to prepare him for what will actually take place in the blind. I begin several weeks in advance by standing at my kitchen counter with an open can of beanie-weenies, or a pop-tart. As if by accident I drop bits onto the kitchen floor and record my retriever’s response time that it takes to locate and scarf up the dropped food. Your dog’s reaction time should be fast enough to keep food from being underfoot should a brace of ducks swing over the decoys.
6. Inspect and Clean Your Gun
Do I really need to expand on this topic? If you are like most duck hunters, you will be spending Friday night wiping down your gun (several times) and packing, then re-packing your blind bag.
7. Pack Your Snacks and Drinks
Please refer to my previous blog on the proper etiquette required
8. Go Over All Hunting Regulations
Not really, I just added this step in case there are law enforcement persons who can read this blog.
9. Waterfowl I.D.
We have a designated I.D. guy; he is usually the first one out of the blind and back at camp. All harvested waterfowl are identified by this person and should someone have accidentally harvested a “wrong” bird, it is then given to someone whose bag limit can accommodate the addition. Oops, I forget ….. there may be law enforcement persons who can read this blog. Let me refer you to this website where you can obtain a waterfowl I.D. Chart http://www.ducks.org/hunting/waterfowl-id you can even download their mobile app for identifying ducks.
10. Arrive Early
On opening day you must arrive at the duck camp early. Why not, it’s not like you are sound asleep at home. You have probably awakened several times through the night and checked your clock. You have most likely been up 30 minutes before the alarm is set to go off. So, you might as well drive on down to the duck camp and visit with your hunting buddies that have spent the same sleepless night. ..... Now stop surfing the web, get dressed and go on down to the duck camp.
P.S. - Remember to take your gun
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Preparing For The Upcoming Duck Season
Preparing For The Upcoming Duck Season
All of these are important tasks, however there is one job that should not be overlooked. What I am talking about is the type of preparedness that separates the average duck hunter from the seasoned veteran. If performed properly, it can make the difference between a good hunt and an excellent hunting experience. If properly done, it can lead to you being considered an expert in the art of water-fowling by your fellow hunters. Done poorly, and you will be remembered as just a run-of-the-mill duck hunter.
What I am talking about is the right and proper method of stocking up on drinks and snacks in the duck blind. With over 40+ years of duck hunting experience, believe me, I know what I am talking about here.
In order to understand the right approach to “blind stocking” we must begin with the premise that duck hunters are probably not the healthiest bunch of human beings. Have you ever made a visit to your local outdoor store in November? I would be willing to bet the shelves were loaded with “Mens Small” and “Mens Medium” clothing items. You would be hard pressed to find any “XL” or “XXL” items left on the shelf. And after 40 years of hunting experience I have never heard one hunter say, “I need to take my hunting clothes to a tailor and have them taken in.”
This is not to say that we don’t get our share of exercise, we are always chasing unruly hunting dogs, lugging bags of decoys through the mud and brush, who hasn’t had to paddle a boat with a stick or a pair of “flip-flops”, wade through knee deep mud, and carry a “ton” of shells stuffed into our coat pockets all in the same hunt. In fact I would be willing to bet that a group of 10 Duck Hunters would most likely open a can of “Whoop-Ass” on 10 Aerobic Instructors, just as long as we didn’t have to jog 6 miles to get to the fight.
If you stock your blind properly, you will find yourself bombarded with request from fellow hunters begging to hunt with you.
The vast majority of “duck blind food” is considered “snack” food and can be easily obtained from the racks at any gas station or local convenience store. Things like beef-jerky, Doritos, Cheetos, Fritos, (any thing with “os” in the name) all make excellent duck blind foods. Beanie-Weanies, Vienna Sausage, and canned Sardines are also welcomed table fair in the blind. Hostess Fruit Pies, Twinkies, Pop-Tarts, and Honey Buns can really top off a excellent morning hunt. And no blind can be considered properly stocked without an abundance of Pringles as they travel well and stay protected in those “tennis-ball-like” cans.
Roasted peanuts and beef-jerky are must haves …. The discarded peanut shells add a non-skid surface to the blind and the beef-jerky can serve as a practical tool for stirring coffee.
Which brings me to the drink selection. Deciding on what drinks to stock the blind with is very simple, just remember the following rule ….. “Canned sodas for hot and coffee for cold”. The soda flavor matters very little.
Never be caught with any fruits and/or vegetables, none of those granola bars, yogurt, or anything with Monounsaturated fats. Any of these items will guarantee you being in the blind alone.
And never, never, under any circumstance have a banana in the blind, or boat or on the dock. Think about the life threatening aspects of what can happen due to the careless placement of a banana peel!
This may all sound very complicated to those that are just beginning to stock their blind with unhealthy snack foods for this year’s season. Just remember the following:
• The food must be quick to fix (open a can, or peel back some type of wrapper should be all that is required)
• Duck blind food has to be the type that can be shared with a dog.
• It should be the type of food that you would welcome finding on the next hunting trip or next hunting season
• It must be laden with chemicals, nothing that is allowed to grow mold is allowed in the duck blind.
• Don’t forget about never bringing a banana to the blind which isn’t to say that banana flavored items aren't welcomed ( Banana flavored Moon Pies are always a hit)
And never forget the 5-second rule, which is … any food that falls to the floor in a duck blind and isn’t immediately eaten within 5 seconds by the dog, means you might have made a poor choice in hunting dogs and it may be time to get a dog that is a little more eager.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Helping Ryan At Home
Got a call from Ryan today. He is thinking about buying one of the new Stoger 3500. After talking about the gun for a minute or two he said something that caught me off guard.
“I guess I need to call Brandie (his wife) and see if it is OK for me to buy it.” ……….
I got to thinking about that statement and decided it was time to jump in and lend Ryan a helping hand. So, for you Ryan, the following is a top 10 list that you can show Brandie and perhaps persuade her to let you have a new gun.
Top 10 Reasons To Allow Ryan To Get A New Gun
10. Honey, this would give me one at home and one to travel with.
9. I need to add balance to my gun safe so that it doesn’t warp.
8. I can’t possibly accessorize with the old gun.
7. Should one of them break-down I need a backup gun.
6. Big Boat …. Deserves a Big Gun.
5. I can’t hit shit with my old gun.
4. A new gun is more tactical and modern.
3. Gun envy
2. The older I get the less I want to pump it.
And the Number One reason I need a new gun …..
1. That extra ½” is what I have needed for a long time!
So Ryan, here you are. I am sure that as soon as Brandie reads these well thought out reasons why you need a new gun that she will send you forth with her blessings. If not …. Well, see reason #5 and prepare for another season of the same.
“I guess I need to call Brandie (his wife) and see if it is OK for me to buy it.” ……….
I got to thinking about that statement and decided it was time to jump in and lend Ryan a helping hand. So, for you Ryan, the following is a top 10 list that you can show Brandie and perhaps persuade her to let you have a new gun.
Top 10 Reasons To Allow Ryan To Get A New Gun
10. Honey, this would give me one at home and one to travel with.
9. I need to add balance to my gun safe so that it doesn’t warp.
8. I can’t possibly accessorize with the old gun.
7. Should one of them break-down I need a backup gun.
6. Big Boat …. Deserves a Big Gun.
5. I can’t hit shit with my old gun.
4. A new gun is more tactical and modern.
3. Gun envy
2. The older I get the less I want to pump it.
And the Number One reason I need a new gun …..
1. That extra ½” is what I have needed for a long time!
So Ryan, here you are. I am sure that as soon as Brandie reads these well thought out reasons why you need a new gun that she will send you forth with her blessings. If not …. Well, see reason #5 and prepare for another season of the same.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Getting What You Need
Duck Season is once again upon us. I, like so many others, am excited over what possibilities lay ahead.
Over the years, duck hunting has changed for me. I once measured my success in the blind by the numbers "killed". Success is now measured more by the experience of the hunt.
Sitting in a duck blind watching my lab make a retrieve, a flight of early morning jacks swinging over the decoys, conversation with my hunting partners, or from a deerstand, observing the return of a male bobcat after an all night quest for a meal. These are the things that make my hunt successful; these are the things that make my day.
Everyone seeks to receive something out of his or her hunting experience. But the most important thing to remember is that if you do the right things, your day in the duck blind will give you what you need.
It may not give you everything you wanted and were hoping for, but at the very least ..... it will improve your day.
Over the years, duck hunting has changed for me. I once measured my success in the blind by the numbers "killed". Success is now measured more by the experience of the hunt.
Sitting in a duck blind watching my lab make a retrieve, a flight of early morning jacks swinging over the decoys, conversation with my hunting partners, or from a deerstand, observing the return of a male bobcat after an all night quest for a meal. These are the things that make my hunt successful; these are the things that make my day.
Everyone seeks to receive something out of his or her hunting experience. But the most important thing to remember is that if you do the right things, your day in the duck blind will give you what you need.
It may not give you everything you wanted and were hoping for, but at the very least ..... it will improve your day.
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